I own nothing.

My home isn’t mine.
It is simply where I live.

My achievements,
are gifts to me.
They do not belong to me.

My sisters are not mine.
I was born into a family.
I had no say in this.
Our paths crossed.
But I do not own them.

My feelings,
are like clouds.
They come and go as they please.

My physical appearance, it is not me.
I dwell somewhere deeper.

This body is a vessel.
Emotions fleeting.
Relationships are like waves.
Gifts, reminders.
Possessions wither.

I don’t belong to anyone nor anything.

I am not theirs.

I am.

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“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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As the final article in my series of articles, I approached Ehsan who had also taken the plunge into the frightening world of pursuing his creative ambitions to write a segment on how he came to take this step.

Ehsan:
I sent in my 3 month notice (sealed in a blue envelope since it was the only one available) resignation letter on a beautiful morning in March. I went in, met with the director in the meeting room, and gave him the envelope. We talked about my decision for a while before I left to tell my team. On the way down, I glanced at the face of one of the animators hard at work, and I realised that I spent all night thinking that this being one of the riskiest steps I have ever taken, but to him, it was just another Wednesday.

Well that’s life for you. My leap of faith did not begin with foreshadowing that led to a huge momentous moment, but with a letter in an envelope. There was no orchestral music in the background, just the sound of my own footsteps and the fading click-clacking of keyboard presses as I went down the stairs. No applause or jeers, no end credits or a fade to black. Still, I should have totally put on Clint Marsell’s Lux Æterna on my Walkman as it happened. Goddamnit.

The next 3 months were spent writing and tying up loose ends workwise. I decided to keep the whole thing quiet and most only knew of the decision on the last month. It was great, to be honest. I spent a little bit more time with my close friends than before. I knew some of them since my first week of University, and we trudged through the heavens and hells of animation production together and personally, they were one of the reasons why I wouldn’t want to resign. Yet dreams are dreams, and the biggest regrets we have are the ones where we allow dreams to remain as dreams in our sleep.

I have always wanted to write, to tell stories ever since I read the epic drama about Peter and Jane, and their dog Pam. Still I have always chickened out, and went in a chase of more parental-approved dreams such as being a scientist, an engineer, or something-something in the field of information technology. But my textbooks were always filled with more doodles than numbers and fiction rather than facts, and I was getting more and more depressed. For a while I blamed my parents (They pushed me into this mess!), and then I blamed the Malaysian educational system (It’s still stuck in the age of the industrial revolution!), but then slowly I realised the only person to blame is, myself.

In theology they call it free will, our ability to make choices in life. I realised that I could if I wanted to, just started out in a journalism course 6 years ago, or written a novel. I could have chosen, and what has really stopped me all these years was myself. Paralyzed by the fear of what-ifs, the ultimately problems of no existence. Life is what you make for yourself, and you only get one shot at it anyway; why not spend it doing what you really want?

Now seriously, I have no idea how I will make it as a writer because you know, it is called a leap of faith for a reason. Yet I realised that I am not going into this for money or fame, but to write and tell stories of all sorts. As long as there is a medium for storytelling, be it like this article, a script, or comics, I am glad to just write for whatever reasons there are in the world.

I admit that sometimes it feels like I am constantly staring into an abyss. I had promotions to look forward to and paychecks that come monthly. Now it seems like everything is in a constant state of chaos and the future in shards to be placed back together again. One by one, the pieces have to be picked, and placed in the order I want it to be, but it will be done. After all, what do I have to lose?

And here I am at the point of the leap, before I will start to fall or rise to the sky. And I suppose well, this is the part where it gets interesting.

Geronimo.

Ehsan Azharuddin worked as a screenwriter and audio designer for a computer-animated film “Geng: The Adventure Begins” and its spin-off series, “Upin & Ipin” for Les’ Copaque Production. He then helped helm the marketing department of the company before being the General Manager of the gaming branch, LC Games Development. He is now pursuing his dream of being a full-time writer and screenwriter. You can reach him via Twitter or facebook.

His heartfelt account would definitely get those of you who are teetering on the brink of “should I? shouldn’t I?” Another article of Maria Brophy’s – Why You Should Have A Death Wish – which I re-read recently also seems appropriate here.

Life is full of surprises; some welcomed, some much less so. Circumstances may change in a blink of an eye or with a word or two and you’ve to ask yourself this, “Am I doing what I love doing, or am I just doing what I’m doing as it’s expected of me?”

I hope that these articles have in some way inspired you to look into pursuing your passions and dreams. I would like to leave you with a short poem that would hopefully give you that nudge forward.

Don’t be afraid

Don’t be afraid to express

how you feel,

Don’t be afraid to pursue

your hopes and dreams,

however futile they may seem.

Don’t be afraid to explore new

avenues and horizons,

Don’t be afraid to fight for what you believe in,

or care for,

it is always worth it in the end.

It may not be easier,

the right path is very rarely one

paved with roses and gold,

but one thing is definitely clear,

Don’t be afraid…….

(Angelia Ong, 1996)

Thank you for reading my articles and for the support. Pursue your dreams as it is what the foundation of life is made of.

Once, I too identified and perceived Love to be what it is to most people. I don’t claim to know what it is today, but I do see it for what it isn’t and how ‘other things’ are believed and perceived to be Love.

Ask anyone about Love and they’ll have something if not lots to say about it. Their idea of what Love is. What Love means to them.

I was a victim of Love. And I paid the price. I walked through the fire. I burnt while I slept. And it’s true, what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger. My strength lies in me surviving Love.

No longer will I ever put another up on a pedestal in the name of Love. That pedestal is mine.

The turn around did not happen over night as you might guess. It took aloneness, questioning my motives and why I had indulged in the relationships that I did, why I did the things I did, why I accepted the things that happened, why I chose to walk forward when I saw at the start what I experienced later. I was certain the answers were within me. I took the responsibility, I blamed no one. I understood that no one can make me do or feel anything. Only I could.

But like everything in life, this ‘understanding’ has come with a price, for today I am regarded as cold, odd, not normal, strange. I no longer play the game of Love ‘right’.

I learnt a great lesson two years ago from a friend. His name is Tim. He said, for the majority of people they seek another to fill the void, the space within them. And most often the other manages to fill it very well. But only for a certain amount of time. Then the void starts to appear, begins to be felt again. Arguments start. The void feels even bigger now. The other falls even shorter of filling this space. Two people ‘should’ enter a relationship when they are complete. Until then, they should not enter a relationship. Tim said, imagine a relationship where two people are complete, not seeking anything to fill their voids because there was none to fill?

I don’t think Tim would have thought I took his words or his question so seriously, but I did. I chose to because what he said had planted a seed within me.

Love means different things to people. But for all the differences, the biggest similarity lies in this; the search for love, lies beyond one’s self. We use different words to describe this. One such word is companionship. But if this was true, we’d be just as happy being with people whom we love, than that one person. Society has groomed us to think of ourselves as failures if we are alone and we have believed this. Self-love was never programmed into our psyche. Hence, the Void.

Once, I was ‘normal’ or at least my idea of Love was similar with the masses. Today, Love simply is. I can love you, but I do not have to tolerate certain things about you. I love you, but I do not need to say it everyday unless I want to. I love you but I do not need to validate this Love due to your insecurity. You either believe it, or you don’t. I have nothing to do with this. I do not prove my love because you are expecting and need me to. I love you but I do not need to be with you.

I know it isn’t easy hearing this from someone whom you love, especially if you’re used to doing all the above. Especially if your idea of Love is that.

Masaru Emoto’s water crystals have proven that feelings such as Love, can exist and be felt by water, even when separated by huge distances. And we consists mainly of water. Rilke quoted, ‘The only journey is the one within’. The abundance lies within. Love lies within us. Lord Buddha said, all attachments lead to suffering. Even the attachment to outbound Love. ‘Anything that we depend on beyond ourselves to make us feel good and safe, is undependable.’ Krishnamurti.

I stepped back, read, digested, watched and contemplated the words of the great philiosophers, gurus, poets, artists, people and replayed my behavior and beliefs of what Love is. I saw and (continue to see) how distorted and convoluted it was. The biggest flaw and revelation was that Love was an idea. Striving to live the idea of Love. I look back and I note when this started. When I was a little girl. I was rewarded if I was a good girl. Just being called a good girl was enough to keep me trying to aim to hear it more often. The good girl was a projected image of my self. Deep down I had always been good. But from an early age, I was ‘taught’ that what I do or say decided if I am good. I was also told to think of others all the time. And all the time I tried my best to. As an adult, in relationships, I continued putting them first before me. When the relationship failed, I was devastated. I plummeted. So deep I understood darkness. This was when I walked through the fire. It was also when the Void was biggest.

To love someone, is a growing up. I learnt this the hard way. I saw how I was needy, how I manipulated what I did and said, all in the name of Love, all because I wanted Love. It wasn’t love. It was insecurity.

The void, it lived in me for many years.

For the longest time.

But today, it no longer does.

Not anymore.

Love simply is.

I may not be complete yet, but I am not in search for another.

If you’ve come to me for your idea of Love, I shall disappoint you.

I know, because I was once you.

Today, I am.

One night, I spoke to the moon, when she was full.
She looked really at peace amidst the dark sky.
She appeared almost completely white, and she illuminated such light,
I was in awe. I wanted to know her secret.

I asked her, ‘ Aren’t you afraid of the darkness? ‘

The moon replied;

‘ Do you really believe that which you only are able to see? Do you forget that I glow just as brightly when the Sun blinds me? Do you only notice my existence when it is dark?

I am one in too many existing moons, but because you can only see me, you consider me special. I am special, but not for being the only one. I , have no fear of the vast darkness which surrounds me. In fact, I thank darkness everyday for my existence. We all need darkness to remind us of the light we are. From where I am in the sky, you glow so bright, possibly brighter than I am. Likewise, amidst the darkness, this is how I know you exist. There is beauty in darkness and that beauty is you.”

In the first segment of this two-part article, I wanted to interview a recent influence on the way I think or approach our creative consultancy and Maria Brophy kindly agreed. What she tweets or blogs about definitely are subjects that our local creative industry should consider, in particular those who create and market their own IPs. I hope that you will take away the same “ah-ha!” moments that I have gotten from reading her work.

1.What made you decide to pursue the artist representation route and to educate others?
I started working with my husband, artist Drew Brophy, about twelve years ago part time. Back then, I was working in the insurance industry and doing well financially, but I didn’t love my job. Eventually, Drew convinced me to leave the corporate world to work with him full time. The idea was that with me handling the marketing and business end of things, Drew could focus on painting more and we would double or triple the amount of work produced with two heads rather than one.

2. I first heard the term “Creative entrepreneur” via your web site. Could you tell us more about that term?
I felt that the phrase “creative entrepreneur” explains my target audience, which is someone who wants to create for a living.

Creative people, regardless of their medium, all face similar challenges, like how to handle rejection, how to price their work, what to do when they are ripped off. At first I thought my core audience was traditional artists, but found that the feedback I got was from people from many different backgrounds. The topics I write about are dealt with by most entrepreneurs, or people who are working for themselves, or who dream of doing so. I find myself drawn to helping people who long to make a living being creative. That includes writers, sculptors, musicians, or anything. I, too, fall into that category of a creative entrepreneur. I’m not an artist, but I design my job as I go. I may not paint, but I’m creating new things every day.

3. What are the many pitfalls faced by creative people, in particular artists and what are some of the ways they can get past those stumbling blocks?
The biggest pitfall is the need to be loved and accepted by others. It is so hard to put yourself out there, either in the form of a painting or writing, and be wide open to criticism. Every time I write something controversial, I am afraid to hit the “publish” button. It’s hard for us humans to be okay with criticism and to continue on our paths regardless of what people say. But continue on we should, because if you look back on some of the most relevant artists in the past, they all were criticized in the beginning, as they were greatly misunderstood. There’s only one way to get past that pitfall; to just ignore the nay-sayers and do that which you are driven to do. Cultivate the confidence to be who you are. And if you have trouble with confidence, practice it until it becomes second nature.

4. What is a typical day in the Brophy household routine?
I wake up at 5:30 so I can do my yoga, meditating and journaling before Drew and our nine-year-old son wake up at 7:00. It’s Drew’s job to take Dylan to school at 7:35 every morning, and I pick him up in the afternoon. Drew and I spend most of our day at the studio, which is only a mile from our home. Once we get to work, there is no routine! It’s different every day, week and month. We are always busy, even during our slow months. Sometimes it just gets so crazy, trying to keep up with all the projects we are working on.

5. How has social/new media helped you and your business?
It’s helped us connect directly with Drew’s fans and has given him a vehicle to communicate with them. It’s also opened up a lot of media interviews, both in print and online. That has been really wonderful.

6. Many artists wonder if pimping their work constitutes over-promotion- is there such a thing?
For everyone it’s different. I believe that you have to decide what you want for your own career. Some artists want their work to be exclusive and only sold in galleries. If that works for you, then do it. We haven’t made enough money in galleries to survive off of that business model. We like to take on most of the opportunities offered to us for Drew’s artwork. Drew will accept commissions to paint just about anything, as long as the customer wants it in his style. Where he draws the line is that he won’t paint something in another artists’ style, and he won’t paint something that he absolutely doesn’t want to paint. He says that it just won’t be of good quality, and he’ll usually refer it out to another artist. If a company wants to print Drew’s art on kid’s boogie boards, Drew’s feeling is that it will bring joy to kids. And in his mind, that can’t be a bad thing.

I can only think of one artist that I have ever thought was over-exposed, and that’s Ed Hardy. The only reason I feel that way about him is that I’ve seen his artwork on low quality items in the liquor store down the street from me, and I’ve seen it on $90 t-shirts in boutiques. I don’t think that’s a good plan, going high quality and then low quality. But so far, he’s still selling strong, so maybe it doesn’t matter if anyone thinks he’s overexposed. People are still buying his stuff.

7. Does the support of your partner/family help a great deal in pursuing those creative dreams, in your opinion/experience?
Absolutely. If you have someone to support you, either through encouragement or financial, you are going to be able to go so much further in art career, so much quicker. But, for those artists who don’t have the support of their families, I would recommend this: Spend less time with your family, and more time with like-minded people. As a matter of fact, move away from the people who are discouraging you and spend all your time with those who encourage you. Seek them out. It will make the difference between success and failure.

8. What advice would you have for new artists starting out?
The best advice I can ever give is this: Spend time thinking about what you want; Where you want to be; Who you want to meet. Dream about what you want to create and how you want your career to go. Then write it down. Make lists of these things. Trust that it will happen. Enjoy the journey. And know that there is no finish line. You’ll die with a list of things to do, everyone does. Have to have fun along the way. The more fun you’re having, the more things will come to you. It’s a choice, you know. Everything you do is a choice.

ABOUT MARIA BROPHY – An advocate for artists, Maria Brophy has helped many artists to become adept at handling the business of art and create success for themselves. In a few short years, she used her expertise in art marketing and licensing to build up Drew Brophy’s surf lifestyle art brand, earning him the status of being the top licensed surf artist in history. Maria writes an art business blog on http://www.mariabrophy.com with the intention of helping creative people to design the career and lifestyle of their dreams. Maria Brophy’s vision is that all creative people get to live the life of their dreams and make a good living doing it. And she’s going to do everything she can to see it through.

Find Maria Here:
Blog: http://www.mariabrophy.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/mariabrophy
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Art-Lifestyle-Inspiration-with-Maria-Brophy/205275597570

I walked a path for years.
It was mostly dark, most
days, I could
hardly see the sun,
for the trees, they were sheltering her rays.
There were flowers of exotic varieties.
I had never seen anything like them before.

Their colour was always a brilliant red.
Against the dark trees, they resembled rubies.
I also saw animals.
But only monkeys, swinging on the trees.
Many times I strayed from the path, as I wanted to pet them.
And many times I did.
I also plucked those flowers, as I couldn’t
keep my hands and eyes off them.
Their scent was sweet smelling like candy floss.
The path itself though, was mostly muddy,
I lost my shoes without realizing.
I never seemed to be able to walk for long.
Twice, I had stepped on quick sand.
I didn’t cry out for help, perhaps because I
never saw anyone, I had only seen monkeys.
Just as I believed I would become one with the earth,
a hand grabbed mine.
Til’ this day, I have
no idea who saved me.

This path, it has now ended.

It came to an end when I chose to stop walking.
I sat in silence, with
my eyes wide shut.

I saw a vast land
with clear blue skies.
So vast this land was, I couldn’t see its end.
The oak trees were towering and a few.
They seemed to be trying to reach the skies.
The sun,
she shone glistening rays.
I was bathed in warmth, while the breeze was cool.
I didn’t see any monkeys, only birds
and unicorns.
The birds, they looked like pelicans.
When they weren’t in the skies, I saw them swimming
in a lake.
The earth, it was filled with grass so soft,
it made my feet believe it was
walking on a velvety lush carpet instead.
Dandelions, they danced gracefully like ballerinas
flying high, doing somersaults in the air.

There was no one there,
only me. And I
loved it.

Today, I live in this land.

The path, it no longer exists.

Perhaps it never really did.

“In brightest day, in blackest night,
No evil shall escape my sight
Let those who worship evil’s might,
Beware my power… Green Lantern’s light!
The Green Lantern Oath, copyright DC Comics

If you’re a comic book geek, you would know this oath. It struck a chord with so many kids back in the day when comics could be read by many different ages and parents didn’t mind paying for them. Many Malaysians would remember rummaging through the boxes of comics that were in certain old bookshops – older and thus cheaper issues to be had – a true treasure trove. I remember reading graphic novel Star Wars as a kid and loved it, and my parents let us buy or borrow comics as kids and my brother still has his. I never knew what happened to my Dazzler comic issue, the first comic I ever owned only because there was a girl on the cover kicking some butt!

I loved (and still love) reading, whether it’s comics or “proper” books. Much has been said about how the reading culture in our country is vanishing and how can we get people or kids reading again, but hardly anyone here says anything about using comics to help kids to gain interest in reading.

There is a movement in the USA right now where groups are lobbying for libraries to bring comics back to their shelves, and to use comics to help kids read more. Children are very visual beings and using comic books to capture their interest in reading would be a great stepping stone to enjoy the practice. There are many age-appropriate readers out there, whether it is movie character-based or the traditional superheroes from the big publishers. Our youngest son got over his reluctance to read “things with lots of words” by reading comics, either with Daddy or his older brothers and he enjoys reading a great deal now.

It doesn’t really matter what the language the comics are written in or what style, whether it is manga, anime or American style comics. A good well written story will engage the reader whatever the medium and this medium is missing from school libraries or in libraries generally. Although our own National Library is working alongside the national comics creators association, Pekomik for A Month of Comics this May/June, it has been noted that there is no section devoted to comics, local or international within the library. Will there be a National Archive of Malaysian comics, including those from the heyday of comics from the 80s? There should be. We need to archive all our creative work, beginning with Malaysian comics.

Why is it so important to maintain the comics industry and how does it help promote a reading culture? As George R. R. Martin was recently quoted in the New York Times from a speech he gave in 1981,

“Every would-be writer needs comic books. I certainly did. I can still vividly recall my discovery of comic books, followed closely by the revelation that this reading stuff was actually good for something. “ Adapted from a speech delivered by George R. R. Martin at Ambercon 3 in Wichita, Kan., on May 31, 1981.

He also went on to say why he found comic books so much more exciting than the ‘readers’ that he had to read as a kid and his teachers had praised his improvement in reading and reading with such expression too! He attributes that to reading comics and what parent or teacher wouldn’t want that for their own kids or students? To find love in reading, opening their eyes to whole new worlds or being able to express themselves, this is something that should be nurtured in kids and in turn adults too.

A hallmark of a developed society is its vibrant arts and creative cultures and Malaysia needs to grow that creativity. There is a slow growing movement that is trying to address this and the lack of a reading habit amongst kids and I really applaud their efforts and support them wholeheartedly. Among those individuals, is Azalia Suhaimi who has even gone onto a local reality TV show to try and raise funds for improving reading and creativity amongst kids, comics included. We need to support her efforts and the efforts of those who are trying to get more people to read, especially comic books. Our country needs more of these Creative Activists!

Locally, there have been commendable efforts by our own publishers to bring kids comics under their titles list, in English, Bahasa Malaysia and Mandarin. We need to bring back that heyday where comics was in almost every household and the artists were well respected and in great demand, where comic shops are part of the community consciousness. Comic conventions are a wonderful way to keep that in the public eye and to keep that community thriving and growing, but before that, start that reading culture one comic at a time and don’t just tell a kid to read; read along with them. We have been giving these comics as presents to the kids’ friends to do our own small part in spreading comics around and the kids have enjoyed reading them tremendously and have started collecting on their own account.

So before you buy any presents, why not buy local comics to give as a gift instead?

My eyes,
they fall prey to perception.
My ears,
they mostly hear what they choose to.
Touch,
often the pleasures do not imply love.
Taste, my tongue has tasted
atrocious when it looked beautiful.
Smell,
it has deceived me too.

My sixth sense,
it always only speaks the truth to me.
So truthful, it has been,
at times, I have had
to not listen to it.

Distracted by
my other senses.
Disregarding
what my sixth tells me.

My sixth sense,
It knows what I haven’t come to know, yet.
It is the light in me.

It has never failed me.
I have failed it, many times.

The most truthful,
and loyal, of all my senses,
is my sixth.
For it, is Me.

Self potraits of Rachel Burke
989 424pm

The word “passion” can stir up a variety of reactions in people. It can conjure up giggles, a nudge and a wink, or it can bring a look of horror. “Passion” can mean so many things, but most of all it goes hand in hand with love. Loving what you do gives you that passion and drive to go on, despite any obstacles thrown in your path. Passion makes you wake up in the morning, feel thankful that you get to do what you love to do.

It doesn’t necessarily have to be your life’s vocation. It can be something as simple as collecting this week’s spanking new shiny pair of custom trainers or having those action figures lovingly displayed in a glass cupboard at home. It can be in baking for the family or hunting for bargains among the second hand markets. Whatever hobbies, collector’s items, anything really, can give you that passionate glint in your eye when you talk about it.

Passion keeps a dancer going, despite the injuries and the struggles going through auditions and try-outs. After all, all they want to do is dance. The same applies to many in the creative arts field. They want to dance, act, write, or draw. The passion for their craft drives them onwards, despite any hurdles.

So why then is it so elusive? Why is it that many don’t pursue their passions, settling for just being, rather than taking that risk? Chasing that dream, living that passion can be scary, especially if you have mortgages, family to feed, bills to pay among all those reasons that hold us back. It is definitely a roller coaster ride, when you take that leap off the proverbial cliff, to “make a go” at feeding that passion. Having inspirational mentors or supporters around can make such a difference in helping you [through] those darker days, when the kids need this and that for school or the bills mount up.

Speaking of one such inspirational person, I had the privilege to hear John Stevenson, director of Kung Fu Panda speak at a local conference here in Malaysia and listening to him talk about how the movie was made, how imperative it is to work on the storytelling, was definitely a motivating factor in how I’ve been approaching our creative work. More recently, he spoke at yet another conference about this very subject, “Passion”. (John Stevenson:http://www.g4tv.com/videos/51285/DICE-2011-Monsters-Muppets-and-Movies-Presentation/?quality=hd) Part of what he spoke about in his speech struck a chord in many of our hearts, to paraphrase: “Be passionate about what you do and do the very best on whatever it is, even if it isn’t the epic film or the award winning commercial you thought you could work on”. He talked about working on the Muppet show with Jim Henson and how he was such an inspirational man himself and that passion for what they did showed in their work [and] in their daily lives.

“Be passionate about what you do and do the very best on whatever it is, even if it isn’t the epic film or the award winning commercial you thought you could work on” – John Stevenson, director of Kung Fu Panda.

This is often what’s missing these days. It seems so elusive to find this drive and passion about something, whether it’s work, a hobby or a vocation in many people but it’s there, hidden in the struggle just to keep up with the whirlwind of life. There are days that are tougher than others to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but they exist to make you realize just how blessed those good days are, at least that’s what I tell myself. What drives me?

That’s right, passion. I passionately believe in what I’m doing, the creativity, building my own business with my husband, giving back to the industry, raising our kids the best way that we can and try and teach them to survive and thrive in this world without losing sight of their dreams and their humanity.

Can you do the same, find that passion in what you do? Why not? Believe that you can and take each step forward. Believe that you can get through those hurdles and have the faith that the work you put in will pay off in the end. Listen to and learn from those have done it before you and have those around you who understand what you are going through.

Passion: Never leave home without it and use it to embrace what life has to offer.