Some people don’t believe in listing New Year’s resolutions because they feel it doesn’t help them as they may not be able to keep to their resolutions, or, they aren’t interested in such things. Fret not fellow readers, you aren’t alone! Over here in Live & Inspire, we don’t have a list of goals set up at the start of the year, rather, we have goals for ourselves every week. We call it, “Track for Growth”. It’s a tool that we use to list down and track our daily to do. We have a list of things we want to accomplish for the week, and we measure our productivity against time. It is a simple way to derive an analysis of how effective and efficient we have been with what we would like to do every day so we evolve and nurture ourselves. Track For growth is a tool used to provoke personal responsibility. It will consist of the things an individual wants to create and what has been assigned to him or her to execute. It tabulates the resources needed, the projected duration of the task, and the outcome involved. Some of the many pointers as we use Track for Growth:

a. Be outrageous with your creation. Exercise the creator within.
b. Think 10 steps ahead of your everything (i.e – client, projects, research). Exercise initiative.
c. What you are creating must nurture you and the world around. Provoke the source within.
d. Play must be part of your list. Provoke creative intelligence.

At the end of the week, it gives insight to how effective we have been and how much we have participated in growth. A reminder of how effectively we have progressed is always a good thing.

Having a certain a mount of goals set for yourself every month/week/day would be an effective way to challenge your boundaries, and expand your potential – mentally, physically and emotionally. How can you provoke your growth, creative intelligence and flow? Participate.

If you’ve never been one to pick up a book, pick one up! Try out new music genres, don’t stay within the safety zone. If you’ve never written a letter to someone, it’s not too late to try. If you want to travel but never seem to have the moolah stacked underneath your mattress, make it a point to save a little bit of money every month so you can enjoy yourself later. Pick up a new language. Instead of depending on your trusted digital camera or iPhone camera, go back to traditional photography by using film!

In a nut shell, learn and explore something new. It would expand your horizon of experiences, knowledge coupled with creativity. Here’s a snap shot we’d like to share.

(photo was taken here)

There’s a version of the same list in video!

So don’t feel bad if you’re not following the orthodox way of Resolutions, try something new! The team at Live and Inspire would like to wish all our readers, fellow Facebook members and Twitter followers, a Happy New Year. We hope this year will be spectacular for each and everyone of you.

I was sitting alone looking at the dark sky,

when the Moon appeared from behind the clouds.

I hadn’t thought I’d see her tonight so I was delighted.

I smiled at her

and she came closer.

She whispered,  ‘ why do I always see you alone? ‘

I was touched by her question, as I didn’t think she had noticed.

I said to her;

‘No one quite knows me as well as aloneness, Moon, and I don’t suspect anyone shall. I found a freedom which I have never experienced in the company of another like I have when I am alone. I don’t have to make up any excuses for how and who I am. Often, I sit in silence thinking about nothing and sometimes about everything. No one questions me, because I am alone. I may sound selfish but what harm am I doing to another? I would never be able to have these conversations with you Moon, if I wasn’t alone. People would just assume that I’ve gone mad. So you see Moon, in this solitude, there is an abundance of gifts that I have come to know through simply being able to be who I am. These are the gifts from aloneness. ‘

Since hearing Master Dhyan Vimal said about people still being ‘evolving human’, I have not stopped pondering on how we could overcome our obstacles and deformities to reach that phenomenal evolution towards becoming ultimately human.

Based on Charles Darwin’s The Origin of Species, we have emerged from the dawn of the hominids, great apes and mammals about 2.5 million years ago in Africa to arrive at our present from, the homo sapiens, 100 centuries ago. Not only our physical form changed, our brain did too, and everything that it affected. Consequently, that included our character, our ideology; the way we feel and think have all drastically changed with evolution. We no longer trade with nature, hunt with spears, wear leaves to cover ourselves and hit people in the head to tell them we love them. While our brains developed speedily with the creation of ways to show love, our hearts changed with a much slower rate.

With the early humans, things are done according to how the individuals felt and nothing was governed by any law. When our hearts began showing developments, negative attitudes emerged and created from the event. Then humans created law that intended to protect the innocent against violence, prejudice and injustice. The first law trilogy, believed to be created during the medieval / renaissance had the same intention, which is to bring peace. However, looking at the development of our present day and the state of peace on earth, one wonders if the intention is really successful. Has law been compromised? Or have evolution taken a bad turn?

Until war is completely eradicated, peace cannot exist. Until violence, prejudice and injustice have been vanquished from our hearts, evolution cannot continue. And we need to evolve to achieve change. A change for the better like past evolution did to our world. However right now, we seemed stuck in a world where violence creates brutality and death, prejudice makes people poor and hungry, and injustice robs innocents of their freedom. And like what Master Vimal observed, we can still eat when we see people beg for food.

In a world where about 10% of its population are at or affected by war, 600 million is at any standard an enormous number. For the rest of us who are not involved, we could actually help in keeping the number from rising by not cultivating attitudes and characters that have led into the creation of war in the first place like greed, selfishness and insensitivity. We must start exercising our human ability to tolerate differences, demonstrate altruism and practice kindness among the people we live with in order to prevent war from developing. We must show sensitivity towards the innocents, the poor and the less fortunate than us because who we are, what we are or where we come from, do not make us any better than anyone else.

In view of the above, the evolution of humankind needs to continue and recommence if we want to see change, restore balance, find peace, AND be the ultimate being. And that has to start right here, right now. The evolution is long overdue. The next step is where every single one of us becomes the ultimate human, where nobody lives is fear, hunger and poverty, where peace and harmony prevail and war is taboo. It would be evolving to a point where the world would actually be a better place.

So being human begins at once, at this point where we are standing now, being the human we are. If we continue living as we are now and allowing the negative attitudes to govern our hearts, we may never see the light of kindness in us and the world in harmony. However, in order to reach that goal, we must ALL evolve together by cultivating kindness and tolerance emotionally, mentally or spiritually. After all, it is THE goal that we hope for everyone to achieve, that is to be The Ultimate Human Being.

Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open? - Jalal ad-Din Rumi -

A few years back, I believed that freedom is a state of mind. Today, I believe freedom can only be truly ‘felt’ when the mind has been mastered; When we are masters of our minds.

My mind no longer controls me. It no longer dictates what I do, how I react, how I behave. This mastering of my mind did not come easy, yet the irony is, it was so easily accessible. I simply did not access it. I did not know this one simple practice would bring me everything. Would give me liberation for my self.

I knew, and I spoke what I knew. But I wasn’t living what I knew. For years I did this. I tried, but I kept faltering. My mind took me places I didn’t want to go. As a result, I did things I regretted. I continued to negotiate with life, each time life seemed to have an upper hand at the outcome. Still I spoke what I knew.

As time went on, I gained knowledge, but I didn’t know how to use it as I lacked wisdom. I was holding the keys in my hands but I didn’t know how to use them. At the end, I found myself holding rusty keys that were starting to look and feel like nails instead. It frustrated me even more, for now I knew, but I still couldn’t. Still I continued to speak.

I once read a line on an acquaintance’s facebook, which said; ‘I will not be inspired by darkness.’ I found it amusing as it is precisely a dark phase in her life that has brought her to the bright light encircling her. So I know I am exactly unlike her, I’d say: ‘I shall be inspired by everything, including darkness,’ There is a great comfort and joy, as a revelation about ourselves usually follows a phase of darkness in our lives. Even in darkness there is beauty, a stranger said this to me. Once again, it is up to my mind to decide how I deal with things and feelings of this nature. My mind.

I was desperate to master my mind. I knew that my life suffered because I had fallen prey to my own mind. When I finally did master my mind, my world changed incredibly. It was that simple, yet it took me what felt like forever to achieve. I now live what I understood and spoke for so long. Finally. I am free from my mind. And I only managed to do this when I silenced my mind through meditation. No other method worked for me.

The ultimate shift happened when I became ‘aware’ of my mind and its character. I was in control of my actions as a result of my thoughts. Everything became clear to me when I understood that my mind was not me. My mind is made of thoughts. There were days when it felt like a battle was taking in place, other days, a speed chase at 200 miles per hour. Obsessive thinking, dreaming about the future while thinking about the past, reliving old grieves, fears and failures. My mind did all this to me and I followed. Held captive. To answer Rumi’s above mentioned quote I would have said – because I am not in prison (1), because I didn’t know how to step out (2) because the keys I held to let myself out wasn’t working (3). Ultimately ’4′ happened when I seized control of my mind after years of reading, aloneness and seeking within. It happened through meditation. I understood my mind best when my mind was silenced.

I finally comprehended this without my thinking, without rationalising things. I realised I could read a library and still not be where I am today because I finally understood that knowledge is mostly mind based, but freedom is something that resides on a plane unaccessible by the mind. One simply has wings to choose carefully, to be aware, to have insight. Everyday since attaining this, I live my life with this in mind. I remind myself that the health of my mind is in my hands, that it is detrimental to my well being, as it totally dictates the world I live in. It has liberated me from my self. All the barriers that my mind had set me up against, that I had been caught up in, was lifted. The veil was lifted. I experience things for what it is and people for who they are. I gained clarity and I was no longer fooled by frivolous shallow thinking that hindered me from experiencing things and people. A deep insight was offered to me. Instinct, intuition, I have all this in abundance. As I gained mastery over my mind, I found peace within my self. I was set free from my own self. I stepped out of the cage that was my mind. And I became free. I had finally found freedom.

Free from everything, everyone.
Free from fear, guilt.
Free from the past and the future.
Free from all.
A land of vast beauty and peace stands before me,
because within, I feel vast and am at peace.

I bow my head in gratitude everyday, for I have found my dear self. I have finally met her.
And I love her in abundance.

‘Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.’ - Jalal ad-Din Rumi -

Image: ‘The only journey is the one within’ – Rainer Maria Rilke

For years I have searched. Like you, I searched for love, peace and happiness within. I ‘educated’ myself with lots of reading. I pondered their truths, reflected on my actions, believed that I was equipped to meet life on these terms.

But I wasn’t.

I became terribly frustrated with myself for now I knew, but I still couldn’t cope with the challenges that came my way. I silently believed that I was worse off from when I didn’t know. I could not comprehend how this ‘knowledge’ which I professed to have, failed to apply when I needed to.

Today, I have the answers I have sought.
Today, I have more than merely these answers.
Today, I am.

I am, did not come easily. It came with lots of tears from having to understand and accept. It came with solitude. Solitude that I sought and that I hadn’t. It came from wanting to discover myself and seeing all the ugliness that I was. I was not who everyone believed I was. I was not who I appeared to be even to myself. I knew this.

I went around in circles for years. A rollercoaster ride that went in circles. Anyone watching me would have had a headache. I was suffering from a migraine!

I met Tim early last year. Our paths ‘crossed’ on Facebook. After a few months of exchanging hellos and emails, we met. We spent 7 hours, chatting and sharing about our lives. He mentioned Dyhan Vimal and about having attended these ‘Disciplines’.

Late last year, I came across an advertisement on ‘Discipline One’ and the next commencement date. I contacted Tim and asked him if Live and Inspire could sponsor me, one of their contributing writers. Tim answered, “We will.”

I was meant to go up to the 3rd floor for registration, but instead I ‘accidentally’ walked up to the 4th floor. Uma wasn’t there, I assumed I had made it there before her. I went in and walked around. It was a hall of some sort. Empty mostly with the smell of incense burning. I saw a wall. It had framed pictures of people. I walked closer and as I stood facing this wall, I took a step back. Two philosophers who I had devoured in my readings and who had supplied me with this ‘knowledge’ I so believed I had, their photographs were staring at me. Now, I was really excited about learning more about this ‘Discipline One’.

The 5-day course did not reveal what I hadn’t known. It revealed exactly what I had known all along. BUT it showed me how to use these tools that I had been carrying ( the ‘knowledge’ ). It gave me insights that liberated me from myself. It showed and taught me how to use this knowledge in everyday life, regardless of troubles or not.

A big part of this overwhelming sense of liberation came from practicing meditation during these 5 days. I was supposed to continue meditating everyday for the next 40 days before I would be ready to enroll in Discipline Two. I didn’t do this. I stopped meditating completely.

Of course I had my reasons for not ‘being able’ to do it. I had a whole list of reasons. Strangely, I would work at ticking off these reasons, only to add just as many new ones. Finally there were no more reasons and I just accepted that I simply did not feel like doing it. This was the latest, longest reason.

Slowly, I was back on the rollercoaster ride. I felt even worse. I had experienced, I had caught a large glimpse of myself that I loved. But again, I had slipped.

I met Ann around 2 months ago. I spent 3.5 hours with her, she did all the talking. She knew nothing of me. She kept saying that I needed to meditate, on a daily basis.

And so I did.

And now, now I know.

My world has changed. It has changed tremendously.

While most know about the path they walk, I too realized that we start walking our paths ever since we are born. Whether we like it or not, our journey has begun. But I believe the real ‘truth’ that we seek, the love, contentment and peace within that we would like for ourselves is ours to experience ONLY when we each open the gate on our individual paths. This isn’t a given. It is a choice that some make, and some don’t. Others perhaps oblivious, or simply not believing in this hocus-pocus talk. Their intellectual minds are too ‘intellect’ to succumb to this ‘spiritual’ talk. Freedom of choice exists and so each of us can choose as we please.

I have chosen to open the gate on my path, that I (simply) know will lead me to the Light. The light is home. The light is my own self like I have never seen, met or known before.

This walk on the path has been a lot kinder to me since I stilled my mind. It has been beautiful. In fact, I see no path anymore. It’s just an open vast space. Sparkling with colored diamonds.

I found peace.
And an abundant land of love.
Within.
I see this land even with my eyes open.

I am on my way home.
To a land of vast beauty within.

This is my invitation to you, to join me.

“That our endless and impossible journey toward home is in fact our home… To envision us approaching and pounding on this door, increasingly hard, pounding and pounding, not just wanting admission but needing it; we don’t know what it is but we can feel it, this total desperation to enter, pounding and ramming and kicking. That, finally, the door opens… and it opens outward – we’ve been inside what we wanted all along.” – David Foster Wallace

by Aishy Vimal

I am 14 years old and this is my typical day. I wake up at 6am in my single bed with a comfy pillow and warm blanket. By 7am I’m out of the house with a full stomach and fresh school uniform. I’m in school by 8am. It usually takes forty-five minutes to get to school but I’m not complaining because I’m in a fully air-conditioned car with the radio tuned  on to my favourite morning show.

It’s 12.30pm – lunchtime! My friends and I run down to the cafeteria and buy some rice and chicken to eat. It’s 3pm and school is over and all of us go in our cars and head back home. I’m in dance class by 5pm, where I have been learning ballet, tap and modern dance since I was five. Then it’s back home for some homework, TV, Facebook of course, and bed.

But this is not a typical day for hundreds of adolescent girls in many areas of the world.

Here’s one story: She’s 14, and her life starts at 4am. She has to make four trips to collect just 2 litres of water, sometimes walking up to 6km. Now, that she’s finished getting water, she walks 4km to school. She drinks water to keep away the hunger after school and starts walking home in the searing heat. Back home, she makes more trips for water to wash the clothes, clean the house and then to help her mother in the small garden. if the crops don’t grow properly, they don’t eat. It’s as simple as that.

Now her mum is too tired to cook dinner as she is not well and hasn’t been well for a while now. She prepares dinner over an open fire – boiled rice and some beans. It takes a long time to cook the dinner as she has to keep the fire going as well. She’s falling asleep over the fire and is so hungry she finishes her food in no time at all. She goes to bed still hungry but there’s no food to look forward to till dinner tomorrow.

Two whole different stories but two similar people. The only thing that’s different is that one girl is living in poverty and the other one is what I think of as a normal life. I never knew all these things were happening to girls my age.  The fact that they don’t have food to eat makes me feel grateful for all that I have. This gratitude is what made me decide to do something about it. I decided to do something which would get people to know and understand what is happening to adolescent girls.

It all started when I was doing research for my geography class. We were learning about different charitable organizations and I found the Girl Effect website (www.girleffect.org). The video immediately got me hooked. Right after I watched the video I decided that I wanted to do something for the group. I was very attracted to the Girl Effect as it’s about girls my age and I just can’t imagine that someone just like me is living such a difficult life just because of the circumstances they are born into. Everyone should be given opportunities to live their best life.

Here are some facts about how things are now – one person in eight is a girl or young woman age 10–24. With the right assistance, with education, with skill training, health benefits, she can break the cycle of poverty and she deserves the chance.

Statistics show that when you help a girl, that many more lives will benefit: her brothers, sisters, parents, her village, her community and it goes on. Unfortunately when a girl turns 12, she is treated as an adult and has to work to help support the family, in families who have no other choice she is most often married off. One moment she is a child, and the next she is bearing a child while she is still a child herself.

• A girl with seven or more years of education will marry four years later and have 2.2 fewer children, the population’s HIV rate goes down and malnutrition decreases by 43%

• When 10 percent more girls go to secondary school, the country’s economy grows by 3 percent.

• When an educated girl earns income she reinvests 90 percent in her family, compared to 35 percent for a boy.

Yet 99.4% of international aid money, is not directed to her. This means less than two cents of every international development dollar is directed to her.

This is when I decided to do something to bring awareness – there are 600 million adolescent girls – can you imagine if they were all given a chance, if every girl was given a chance – WOW!

So I thought, let see what I can do – I can organize a flash mob. I talked to my mum and my sister; Apshy and we thought yes! A flash mob is when a group of people assemble suddenly in a public place to perform an unusual act or a choreographed dance for a brief time, then disperse, often for the purposes of entertainment or satire. I decided to take this a step further and use the flash mob to create awareness.

I also chose to do a flash mob as I’ve been dancing since I was five, I love anything to do with dance. I figured this would be fun and lots of people would want to take part in it because it would be easy as well. In addition, each time I talk about the flash mob, I talk about Girl Effect. I talk about girls who need help and so many people have now come to know what is happening and that we need to help these girls. I have talked to so many people, and I know these people have talked to more people and every time I speak on tv or in a press interview, more and more people have come to know about what the facts are and I truly believe that there will be a ripple effect. There will be people who can do much more than me who will do something bigger and I am glad that I started them thinking.

I think everyone just has to do what they can, from where they are and this will create an amazing ripple effect all over the world. I’m doing something because I believe everyone is the same and everyone should get a chance and opportunities. You should too.

Now you might be wondering what you can do to help?

Firstly, you can join me! Come dance with us! Show that you want to help these girls! Secondly talk about this. Tell your friends, family and neighbors about what’s happening to these girls. By just telling one person, the news spreads. And most probably 2 in 3 people will do something to help these girls.

Finally you can donate. Donate money to these girls. Help them, you can choose your project and help these girls be who they should be. If just one person donates at least $10, you can help one girl start a small business. Then she can expand her business and help her family and her entire community.

My site – www.facebook.com/girleffect.flashmob
My youtube channel – http://www.youtube.com/user/aishyvimal
Online fundraiser – www.globalgiving.org – Search for Aishy Vimal under fundraiser

Flash mob Dates – JOIN US OR SUPPORT US!
17^th April – 4pm – Pavillion Shopping Mall, (outside at the fountain area)
20^th April – 7.45 pm – 1Utama (Lower ground, New Wing)
23^rd April – 3pm – Bangsar Village 2 (concourse area)

In view of the recent world issues that have clouded life with a number of miseries, what with the war, the rising crimes, and the natural disasters, the world has become a tougher place to live in. Thus we are more in need to find comfort and a safe place surrounded by people we trust and love. And these people have become an important entity in our lives.

They have been called angels, they’ve been called saviors, but more than anything, they have definitely been remembered as the ones we love till the day we pass. They are our FRIENDS, the true and loyal ones, who will stand by us no matter what.

Friends are those who are there for us come rain or shine. They do not judge, they do not rule. They listen and they reach out to us. The best thing about them is that they accept us, tolerate us and respect us for who we are, no matter what we are or where we come from.

In a world where hate and bigotry have darkened livelihoods, robbed spirits and destroyed families, friends are there to make lives more significant. They tell us they love us when others have left us, they care for us and nurture us when others neglected us. When we are kicked in the face and down on our knees, friends reach out their hands to us and help us back on our feet.

I can never imagine life without friends. How dark it would be, how insipid it could be. The saddest thing about life without friends is that loneliness sneaks in and takes upon itself as our soul companion. It brings with it heinous feelings of dejection, vile self-deprecation and the wretched air of desolation.

In due time, the bogus compadre shuns our hearts from being discerning of people and in the end, we attract bad and manipulative company to step in and take over our lives. They control us; hurt us and they break our hearts. While some of us manage to struggle through, many of us may drown in its sorrows. However, for the lucky ones, real friends emerge and they embrace and protect us from the evil ones who inflict pain upon us. Can you imagine life without friends? Or our whole life only to be surrounded with superficiality?

Some of them leave us and live their own lives as we grow apart, but as friends, we will never ever fall apart. Those who live among us will be with us and look after us, some become families and others bloom to be our soul mates. For those who are not with us will remain in our hearts and keep us in their thoughts. For when the time calls and when we are in need, rest assured that they will be there for us to stand by us as best that they can.

Let’s count our blessings and remember the friends that we have by loving them unconditionally and gratifying their companion through kindness and compassion. Although we may lose them through acts of nature and unforeseen circumstances, keep them in our hearts and never ever lose them from our thoughts.

We are defined by the people we love and for the reasons for loving them. So let’s thank our friends for being there in our darkest moments and above all, for making our lives worth living for.

~~~ About the contributor ~~~

If passion is what keeps a person alive, then Yoga is his life. Azmi Samdjaga has been one of the strong and well sought after teacher in the Yoga industry having taught in countries like Indonesia, Singapore and Japan. With over a decade of experience and studying under yoga legends such as the late Sri Pattabhi Jois, Matthew Sweeney, Lance Schuler and Louisa Sears, Azmi has converged his expertise that he acquired and brought it to the heart of his practice. An Ashtangi by training and a background in dance and massage, Azmi often shares the grace of his practice in the classes he teaches.

Groomed to be an Architect in school, Azmi changed his course of life and found his calling in teaching after he experienced a great shift in his life during his training in India. He is known for bringing his passion in his classes, creating a close bond with his students which, have built a yoga following that, has grown in numbers throughout the years. Up till today he has students who have been practicing with him since the day he started teaching. The greatest thing that he loves about Yoga is that it has helped him through difficult times in his life. He believes that yoga only works best when you apply it to your life.

That day is today.

You might feel uneasy about it, you might not like it, but that’s the way it is. So, deal with it.
 You probably thought to yourself at some stage: “I have a super cool idea but I don’t know how, or if, it can make money.”

If this is what’s stopping you, you stand a good chance of missing out on Awesomeness. And awesomeness is not about adding a title to your name or about making more money. It’s about making that little change, and shouting “YES!!!” to that voice in your head. You know the one… it’s saying: “Do it, Do it, Do it!”

So, what DID you wanted to be when you grow up?

Now I’m not saying you can be ANYONE. (Just take a look at some of yesterday’s presidents)
. I’m saying that you can DO anything, by being YOU.

Read that carefully.

You know the feeling you get when you’re out shopping and you see shoes that you just HAVE TO have, or the new i-thingy-ma-jig that just launched (or leaked), sitting there on a shelf calling out your name? All sense of reason and logic escapes you. You don’t care whether you have enough money, you just charge it and worry about the money later. (Or top up your credit!)
 This is the type of energy you should be channeling into your ideas; the sense of taking ownership of something great.

It all starts with having some fun. Loving what you do and being yourself. 
Facebooking or gaming all day is not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about taking that risk and putting the idea you’ve been “saving” into action. Ignore the cynical critics, (maybe even show them the finger,) and do it.
NOW.

That day is today.

~~ About the contributor ~~~

Sedick Sasman is a independent creative contractor based in South Africa. His goal is to help other small businesses/ start-ups to get their message out there. He believes that a successful brand combines it’s vision, creative strategy and design into one meaningful and impact-full force. To find out more, visit his site www.substance-creative.co.za

Come March 8th, the world is set to celebrate International Women’s Day. I have had the opportunity to attend so many campaigns in relation to making a stand for women across the globe, and many have created awareness about the presence of women and their values, contributions and roles to humanity at large. I thought I’d put down my little thoughts about celebrating women. Not that my thoughts matter to the world at large, but they have somehow shaped my perspective of women in my space and reality.

1. I think the first thing about celebrating women is to drop the idea of comparing them to men. I believe, they are an entity on their own in no comparison. It is the only way to celebrate them. See them for who they are.
2. They are strength itself. Their feminity is not a weakness. It is an energy much needed in any space. Therein, lies the truest of beauty, inside out.
3. They are great teachers. Their natural instinct to nurture sometimes give you insights to some of life’s greatest offerings. They help me to discover part of my feminity. And yes, every one of us has been blessed with both, masculine and feminine traits/energy, when exercised from balance, unfolds great potential.
4. Women are compassion itself, expressing love. Never, never, take that compassion for granted, and in no way, ever corrupt it. Be in gratitude of it and you will help nurture a space of growth for both, you and her.
5. They teach me humility. A woman is never afraid to ask for help, offer help and many transcend the egotistical self, at least from the ones I have come in contact with.
6. Do not define a woman by a role. They are not assets either. It is far easier to conclude them to be what we would like them to be. The tendency to very quickly fit them into roles have been so habitual, I figure we ought to be conscious of our own thoughts.
7. They are not equal to men. The very idea to measure them against men, brings the idea of equality and comparison. They are neither any lesser nor more.
8. We, men, need women, existentially, emotionally and evolutionary. And yes, it would take some destruction in the male ego to say that. I have come to discover this from my various experience and encounters. You don’t get too far or expand much without them.

These thoughts do not sum up the essence of what a woman is about. I do not think we could ever conclude them in pointers, opinions, books, nor thoughts. It would be in your encounter with them, that you would then know how to celebrate them – Right encounters. They are God’s gift to not only men, but also humanity at large. Acknowledge them to be whole, in thought, intent and being without any comparison. That, I reckon would be our celebration of them. Everyday.

One of my biggest dilemmas in life that I constantly lived to question – the idea of sacrificial love. I have always tried to comprehend how could one make love a sacrifice when really the essence of love is abundance. And here’s the kicker. If I would like to do something in the name of love, would I not do it in great joy, utter fulfillment and unconditional giving? Then how could that be a sacrifice?

As I was growing up, I noticed how sacrificial love created obligations in relationships. I saw it happening in parent-child relationships, intimate relationships between husbands and wives, partners and friendships. I noticed how it architectures consciously or unconsciously the feeling of guilt and obligation for the receiving end. There is a conditional value placed on love, or the act of love.

“I slogged and sacrifice everything to send you to college. And this is what I get?”

“I skipped all the outings with my friends to spend time with you, fought with my boss and made all the sacrifices, and you cannot appreciate that?”

I know there are many versions of the above liners that you probably have come to hear. Sacrificial love in this sense makes love a trade. It makes love scarce, only to impose an intent of the giver. And the funny part is that the giver may not even be conscious of it.

Some say the doing is what makes it sacrificial, because the pain the doer experiences may not necessarily be of the doer’s choice. But then again love is in the being and not the doing, no? And if love is in the being, then the doing is much of an extension of something beautiful, regardless. If it is an extension of the being, then the act of doing is somewhat WHOLE. Anything whole, is never scarce in nature.

I found the idea of sacrificial love being a human mechanism to cope with insecurity. We go into survival mode, and use love in demand. We drop to the base of Abraham Maslow’s theory of needs – survival. We go into the mode of fear, for reality not turning out as intended, and we sometimes use love with the illusion of scarcity on another. I am guilty of it too, both being the giver and receiver. Love is not a favor to return. Do not belittle its ever flowing presence.

Again to note, this are merely my observations and thoughts. I went on to seek, and question. I found love to be divine in nature. I found its essence in the being of a person. I found it on the realm of the unseen. And everything we did from that space, it ought to be of liberation. In the love we give, the receiver must be in liberation and not in obligation. It is not a trade. It is an extension. To do anything in the name of love, is to be unconditional in the giving. The giver celebrates the giving.

There is nothing concrete to conclude from here. Only a reflection of the little things in life, for greater awareness. This was one of mine. I leave this for you to ponder…