When I Was A Kid
by Live & Inspire in Mind+Body+Spirit | 1 Comment | Add your comment

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I believe that children view things sincerely, without holding strong preliminary judgment or propaganda. They see what is happening around as it is, and being transparent on how they feel about it. I would like to share my experience being a kid and how I saw things around me evolve, particularly in understanding us, the human. Humans are born as a complex beings, very subjective (less objective) depending on the situation.

Humans are born equal, but we ourselves make us unequal.

Because every human are born equal (no human can be created without the sperm and egg, we have two eyes, two hands, two legs, one mouth, one nose and the list goes on), there is a desire in ourselves to stand up differently from others. And that is what is called “POWER”. Power distinguishes parents and children, a president and a civilian, an emperor and a commoner, employers and employees to the very social context between a strong man and the weak ones, a capable being and the handicapped and others.

I remember when I was small, my siblings and I weren’t allowed to express our opinions although it involved us as the focus of conversation. In our family, the children were not allowed to say something to respond, to argue, or even to defend ourselves. Mum keept on reminding us, “When I was at your age…”  When my parents found me doing something wrong, they would punish me without asking why. I didn’t dare to say a word  to defend myself, fearing it would make the situation worse. All I could do was to seek forgiveness while getting caned.  Brutal as it may seem, it was normal back then.  When I was at the wrong, I wasn’t allowed to say anything.

Before I justify this unfair, unjust, inhuman, whatever it might be regarded as, let’s take a look at a different scenario. When I was young, I wasn’t allowed to express my feelings and thoughts to my parents. There was once I said to my parents that they been unfair to me by giving my younger siblings more privileges than what they have given to me.  All I received was a ‘time out’ in my room the whole night without dinner and supper till the next morning. Remember, kids express what they thought sincerely, without being influenced by other factors. True, most of the time it’s all based on emotions and irrational thoughts, but still they are sincere to themselves and to their surroundings. Unlike kids, adults tend to play safe by being more double-faced, hypocrite, and dramatic, which are far more dangerous.

Regardless how the two situations are viewed (positively or negatively), my parents had the power to do that to me. Parents build a family hence they take control of the family, free to shape the family and raise the children they way they choose to. They have the right to do so. But because of ‘power’, humans often abuse their rights and legitimacy, making the minority disadvantaged and disappointed. Moreover, power exist in my forms in various circumstances. When I was 10, we moved to Malacca and enrolled to a single sex school. The strongest boy in a group will always picked someone for a fight to show how strong he is and by right, everyone should surrender to him and his gang (typical high school!) That didn’t exclude me. We ended up fighting in the park and I ended up bruised.  I guess I got to do everything I could to defend myself from being one of his victim. At that time I thought, “just because you are big and strong you can do this. Although I am one of your victims, I’ll never surrender to you!” I was also wondering, would I be like him if I were strong, showing off my strength to everyone – making people scared and submitting to me?

I realised that ‘VIOLENCE’ was acceptable to solve a complication.

Diplomacy to most humans, is a long process and doesn’t solve a problem immediately. Growing up in a Malay family, my mum would always cane us as a means to discipline the children. We were often be threatened with a cane if we choose to do something bad. The thing is, we weren’t be told why “that something” is rendered to be bad. What we received was a threat of punishment. Thus, humans are lacking the will of reasoning. We were not made to understand the reasons behind everything. What I understood was, violence makes things right, not reasoning. My family taught me to be a human by engaging violence as the only mechanism, and not by reasoning. To them, children were too young to understand a reason. But because they can feel the pain, punishment is regarded as a best methodology. As a result, I grow up, believing that ditching school is not good, not because I will miss important lessons in life but because the punishment awaits. Smoking is prohibited, not because they risk in poor health, but the headmaster will whip you in a public canning. Similarly, praying five times a day is a must, not because we love God and thank Him for His blessings, we would be caned if we didn’t pray.

Due to the lack-of-reasoning culture in our society, people never understand wisdom behind each thing. Together with power, we often fail to look at the other side of the story and refuse to understand ourselves and our roles of being human.  We think that power keeps us strong, keeps us living and keeps us safe. We forget, power comes with responsibility in making things better. It is an honour that grants accountability based on how we utilise it. When we can’t see this anymore as a reason, we are entering the Abyss of Hubris – resulting for an everlasting craving and wanting. And because we are wanting it so badly, we will do everything to obtain it and anything to secure it and that includes violence. When people start to regard violence as mandatory, we began to create a chain of imbalances in our life. Violence will always give rise to another. It never stops, does it?

In the long run, we are the ones who destroy ourselves by sending the weakest link into annihilation. We make ourselves to destroy other beings.

~~~ About the contributor ~~~

Zokhri Idris, an enthusiastic graduate, passionate in exploring knowledge and virtues. High determination in becoming a prominent scholar, majoring in Global Transnational Threats in line with Civilisational studies. Areas of interests include Terrorism Alleviation, Poverty Eradication, Environmental Protection, Weapons of Mass Destruction Development and Conflict and Dispute Settlement. A consistent reader of Noam Chomsky, Samuel Huntington, Francis Fukuyama, Farish Noor, Thomas Friedman as well as Cecilia Ahern, Nicholas Sparks, and Stephenie Meyer.

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